oh god

1. I am grateful that sinead emailed me back today. It was good to hear from her.

2. I am grateful for being driven to get dinner. I didn't very much feel like walking.

3. The opportunity to get outside today so thank you to graedon for that. I'm grateful that I hopefully helped out.

today i enjoyed the sun, took some photos and drank some healthy as shit juice. it was awesome.

Achieved: awake early. drank healthy juice.

Aubergine

1. Going to get dinner with Candice. I started to tear up for some unknown reason to me but it was nice to get out and have someone listen even though I didn't say anything.

2. Holy shit I had a sleep in today and it was awesome! I know its daylight savings so its only really 1hr but it felt like 3. I was so tired it was really good to have such a solid big sleep. So I'm grateful for the extra hours sleep.

3. Hmmmm. I did my hair really nice today. It made me feel pretty. I'm grateful that I days where I can feel nice again, like someone who slightly resembles someone worth wanting.

Txt Candice

Tonight I woke up in the sun. I realised I had had a huge sleep in and it was kind of nice. Yes I had to subdue the panic of not being at uni yet but it was nice. I had dents all over myself from sleeping like a rock and never having moved. Deep sleep. I had the weirdest dream though which I wont share for specific reasons.

Achieved: Some work, slept in!

#justprayin'

1. I'm grateful for the Bill Bailey tickets I was given today. It was so lovely that Roana thought of me and I'm so stoked and grateful that I got to go.

2. I'm grateful that Margie came with me tonight. It was lovely to go out with a friend and I'm so glad it was her. YAY! Fun times.

3. I'm grateful for the walk home tonight actually. I got my fast walk on so fast and it was lovely. Got my blood pumping and body sweating a bit but it felt good.

I will txt Roana

Story? Tonight I went to Bill Bailey and it was awesome. He did Metallica on the horn things and made funny jokes. I laughed. Laughing is good. He did this awesome reggae set which was amazing and made me want to go to gigs and party. He also made fun of dubstep and other shit like that which was funny.

Achieved: Bill Bailey, Made some slight progress in major. Woke up early.

donuts and backseats

1. Trudi sat in the sun with me today. I appreciated the break. Grateful for people who make time for me.

2. Liam helped me with major. I'm grateful for his advice.

3. Eunice today really cheered me up. I hope she never changes. She is hilarious. I'm grateful to have such an amazing friend whom is always so bubbly even when she is down. It's inspiring. Shes never afraid to be exactly who she is.

Idk who to text really. I'll txt Eunice

Tonight we all drank beer at uni. It was really nice. I had emersons bookbinder. I really enjoy it. I've been listening to a lot of hip hop and techno lately. I really enjoy it.

Achieved: Some uni work, gave back the keys to work.

Gibber Jabber

1. Hayden came in to see me at work today. Thats a huge big gratitude of my day. It was so good to see him again after sooo long. He mentioned the last time I saw him was at Ali Moys leaving party and I laughed. Ironic. I'm grateful that we both managed to make time to catch up. I've missed his friendship heaps, always managing to help me pick up the pieces of my failing love life. haha.

2. I had counselling today. We talked about the loneliness I've felt all my life and how thats effected the relationships I make with all people. I have this push pull thing going on where I can never figure out if I want to get close to people and then I let them get close and I draw myself away. I'm afraid of being deserted and so I do it first to make the inevitable pain easier. I'm grateful to have these conversations with someone who doesn't judge me. I'm grateful that I have this wonderful councillor who I feel comfortable with and doesn't make me feel bad about being who I am. I am enough.

3. I had work today. Actual paid work which is a laugh in itself. I'm grateful for the opportunity to do something else for a bit. It was good to have to go out and be told sit for 2 hours and just do nothing. I tried to enjoy my own company but I'm so glad Hayden came because I don't think I would of lasted any longer. I need to learn to be by myself. To enjoy my own company and I'm grateful for the opportunity to practice.

I'll txt Hayden.

Achieved: Went to counselling, had an early start to my day and enjoyed the morning, showered,  went to work, caught up with Hayden, didn't cry when Ali came up on Simones screen saver which is a first. So I'm really proud of myself for that one. I might be getting better at handling the constant blows, constant reminders.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner

1. I really enjoyed eating breakfast with Charlotte today. I'm grateful for having a good start to my morning. It was lovely.

2. The rain to be honest. I'm grateful that it wasn't a sunny day today. It's been so sunny this week that all I've wanted to do was just be outside. Lie in the sun and have a nap but today I didn't mind being at my computer all day because it wasn't sunny. So yeah, for today I'm grateful that it rained.

3. Umm. I watched a few bits off the Ellen show today and got told off for laughing to much. So I'll give my gratitude shout out to laughing out loud. I'm really glad I can get told off for that. What a great way to rebel against quiet times! Hardxcore hahaha

I'm not sure who to thank.

Koen came over and we made dinner. Just plain potatoes but it was nice to cook at home again. I miss cooking at home for people. Took it to uni and left some for lunch tomorrow.

Achieved: Some uni work, got to uni really early, made dinner at home, had breakfast lunch and dinner in that case. Huge Achievement!!

Something like that

1. Sam again for driving me to get dinner but mainly for having a chat with me. It was really good just having a conversation with her and being reminded that it will never work. Stop dreaming.

2. Candice for coming to get me to go to the gym this morning. It was really good. It hurt to and all I did was walk. It was just nice.

3. I know there was something that made me think, ooh remember this one. Nothing comes to mind however. So in that case I will say that I am grateful for Charlottes soundcloud track. I listened to it tonight and its really good. I really enjoyed it and laughed to myself, thats right I actually really do like techno and electronic music and stuff. What was I on about? I'm grateful to be surrounded by such talented people.

Ummmmm I'll tweet Charlotte to tell her I listened to it and it was really good.

Today I sat and had a hot chocolate with Eunice, Koen and Esther in the sun at uni. It was nice to just sit in the sun for a while and talk about nothing in particular.

Achieved: GYM! Breakfast, shower, got up! Did some mock up posters for future of the book, emailed Annette.